Diggerland is hiring!
My favourite theme park on the planet is Diggerland in Devon, UK. You can see their real-time webcam here although if it’s night time in England all you’ll see is car headlights going past on the main road.
Anyone that knows me knows I have a fetish for bulldozers. Don’t ask me what it is about them, I just see a bulldozer and I come over all funny. Big yellow ones are quite sexy, but it’s the smallish black and white ones with metal grilles over the driver that really get me going. Imagine my delight when I came across a theme park where you get to drive them yourself! At Diggerland you can race the small ones round a track, dig holes and fill them in again in a medium-sized one, or even go for a whirry ride in the spade part of a giant one. Ooh, I was in heaven!
And now it appears that Diggerland is hiring! I am awfully tempted to sell everything and head down to Cullompton for a spell. I quote: “You will need to like working with the general public, be energetic, have an outgoing personality and enjoy the thrill of showing others how to use the diggers and other activities in Diggerland.” Isn’t that me down to a tee?
Just tell them “The Flat Earth” was about your love of bulldozers, and the job’s as good as yours.
I’d also like to add “Boom” and “Tish”
Sounds like a hoot. I still have fond memories of operating one of those tiny ‘dozers (here in the US the most commonly seen ones are called “Bobcats”) to help the in-laws do landscaping. They’re available for rental by the day, but I wonder how much it costs to buy one outright?
Thomas… you’re weird. That’s all I have to say.
Now, the $64,000 question is: will you be going there for the five-day “Digger Driving Academy”? Five whole days for you to commune very closely with the equipment. (Readers may interpret the words “commune”, “closely” and “equipment” as they wish…)
I’m envisioning the establishment of this park. “Oi – you know that land we never got the money to develop? I’ve got this brilliant idea! Bring people by, let them pay *us* to run, errr, play with the equipment, and, bam, in a few years, we’ve got the foundation laid! We’ll call it an amusement park for now and no one will ever be any the wiser…”
Just kidding!
When I worked for John Deere, right out of college, I used to go at lunchtime and climb up on the tractors, bulldozers and combines in the main building. There is an incredible sense of power sitting up at the controls of one of those suckers!
I just wish you could do this in America, but the land of the lawsuit would never let such a terrific place exist to bring yer kids.
Diggerland rules! I went there last summer with my eldest son who at the time was still only two and a half. I had lots more fun than he did, but we’re heading back down at the end of May so he’ll get more out of it this time. I can see it becoming an annual pilgrimage for our family.
Look forward to seeing you there Thomas!
Oooooo, Thomas, have you made me blush.
Just like the first
time I ever heard ‘TKTHF’, all over again. “And then, I saw her:
she was a black-and-white Bobcat, with a blade and grilles…little
rivers of coolant…” OOOOH I have to stop writing now before my
blood pressure reaches dangerous levels!!! Your writing, sir, gets
*me* going.
Yowza. Fanning hot face with hand. May have to shut myself in
the fridge.
Are you sure you’d be able to concentrate on the job? Little kids
would be asking, “Mummy, what is that strange man doing
to that machine?” And the mother would stalk off while pulling
Junior by the hand, muttering ‘pervert!’ under her breath. But
if you’re a pervert, then so am I. I *love* those little bulldozers,
although not quite as much as you do!!! Found a photo for you:
http://www.bmcdowell.com/Bobcat/bobcat_pics/
a300%20bridge.jpg
(sorry, not a direct link, as I don’t know how to do those here,
but just copy and paste. Etc.)
Lemme try that again (half a damn link?!?)
http://www.bmcdowell.com/Bobcat/bobcat_pics/a300%20bridge.jpg
NOW I know how to post a link: without pointy-bracket thingies!!
There, all calmed down now. Gotta take fun where I can get it.
Thomas,
For a quick fix get yourself down to the prom at Felixstowe where an asortment of diggers with shovels and grab arms are shoring up the beach with giant rocks and there working at night too.
check the tide tables as they do more at low tide.
http://www.felixstowetv.co.uk/news.php?extend.1596
Best
Lindon
Thomas – get yourself to Uttoxeter in Staffordshire – home of the JCB – they are everywhere there! There is also a fab sculpture outside their headquarters made from digger arms and buckets etc…. Maybe it would look great next to your boat!
Our theme park is also hiring, but can only offer Knights on Horseback jousting – I’ll post some pics on the forum to tempt you away from the diggers
all the best
Snoopy
I’m more of a crane man, myself.
LOL, theres a park in Duraham about 17 miles from me. We went a couple of years ago with out young son.. He wasnt really into it.. but I was!! There was an annoying woman there, a member of staff on the food side, there were 5 people in the 200 seater area and she made a point of coming over and saying, you cant eat your own food here, and pointed over to an area outside.. So Thomas, if you have any traffic warden asspirations, then you could get the job!!!!
Hey Thomas!
if you want somthing to see here in the UK that will blow your mind this summer?
get the wife and kids off to your nearest Air Show.!
For the last 8 years I have been involved in getting a Vulcan Bomber back in to the air! and she has just been given the green light! XH558 Delta lady is the most beautiful thing in the air, now that concorde has been grounded! check out the web site!
http://www.tvoc.co.uk
all the best Peter.
Don’t quit your night job, Thomas
And make sure your liability insurance premiums are paid up.
Ah, Thomas. If only you’d develop a fetish for creating new music.
Peace and revving engines,
K.L.
That could be the coolest place I have EVER seen. I would take a trip overseas just to visit this place. Wow! It is like the Tonka toys of my youth coming to life and I can drive them.
Remember in the movie “Airplane,” when the kid recognizes that the co-pilot is basketball player Kareem Abdul-Jabbar? I can just see it now:
Kid at Diggerland – “Hey, you’re Thomas Dolby!”
TMDR – “No, I believe you’re mistaken”
Kid – “No really, I’ve seen your videos!”
TMDR – “I’m afraid I get this a lot. I’m not Thomas Dolby.”
Kid – “My dad says that your first single was just synthetic pop without any soul.”
TMDR (suddenly angry) – “Listen, kid! I was doing the best I could with the limited technology I had at the time! I was writing great songs. It’s not my fault those damn early synths could only express so much! I’d like to see your Dad get as much feeling out of those overpriced toys as I did!”
[Kid looks blankly and slowly backs away]
J. D.
Thomas,
I suspect you may be an admirer of his work, so can I recommend Iggy Pop’s song Bulldozer from the much-under-rated Zombie Birdhouse album. While this track may not be the highlight of the record, it does offer such lyrics as:
Bulldozer
Like a giant clam
Run that girl over
Get that poseur
Only just noticed this. Just like to mention that the original Diggerland here in Rochester is a lot closer to you than the one in Devon.
Actually, it isn’t the very original as that was in a car park in Strood until they moved it to the bank of the River Medway. I used to drive past it on my way to work. Now I live opposite it!
I went dumper track racing there last summer!