John Cleese and Chow Mein
Yesterday was a travel day, so we got to St Paul in the afternoon and checked in to our hotel. I’ve been wanting to see Mission Impossible 3 which in theory I have a piece of music in, so I found the nearest cinema showing it, which was out in the ‘burbs. We have a TomTom GPS in the car (and no maps) and I’ve upgraded the voice to John Cleese. So, as one does, I just programmed in the address without paying any attention to where I was going, north and south etc. and allowed Mr Cleese to guide me to the theater 25 minutes away.
I saw MI3 which I found quite enjoyable. The action movie genre is not really my thing, but I always liked the paranoia of those old Michael Caine movies like ‘Funeral In Berlin’, along with the quirky 60s/70s style of The Avengers and The Prisoner. I know JJ Abrams is a big fan of that era, and I thought he did a fabulous job, especially as this is his first feature. My favorite parts were little touches that reflected his personality. For example there’s a helicopter chase at night through a farm of massive wind turbines, and at one point one of the huge blades gets sheared off and scimitars into the field below, startling a flock of sheep. I was the only person in the theater that laughed out loud at that one. Wouldn’t it be nice if one day I could project this sequence behind ‘Windpower’ when I play it live!
However, the piece I wrote with JJ was not really in evidence. I even knew the scene it was supposed to be in, but if it was there it was totally buried. At the end of the movie I sat there as the 300+ credits rolled by, all the endless ILM animators and digital matte artists. Everyone else had left the theater and the staff started sweeping up popcorn and looking between the seats for cell phones and loose change. I was convinced the projectionist would stop rolling the credits and I’d have to stand up and scream at the top of my lungs “turn that back on! I want to see my credit!”
I came out of the cinema around 9.30pm and had a real hankering for Chinese food. Programmed it into the GPS, which is never as effective with restaurants as it is with road directions. So John Cleese starts directing me to several closed or non-existent Chinese restaurants, all seemingly two or three miles apart. The streets are mostly dark and no-one is about, curious for a Saturday night, but I gather St Paul is not exactly a hotbed of activity. John Cleese is sounding increasingly aggravated.
Or is this in fact St Paul? I came to the realization I have no idea what city I’m in. Isn’t St Paul attached to Minneapolis? Isn’t that where Paisley Park is? I don’t know how to ask the GPS these sorts of questions, so I briefly contemplate actually stopping to ask for directions. Lapse into a reverie: I pull up to a large purple mansion. It’s the security staff’s night off. Ring the doorbell and a lithe silk-clad figure answers the door and, with a naughty flick of his eyebrow, invites me in to view his collection of Faberge eggs. A bit like that night 23 years ago when I staggered up a driveway in Encino in the pouring rain to visit the King of Pop! But this is just a fantasy. (And it’s Kathleen’s fantasy really, not even my own.)
Back to the serious business of finding Chinese food in a city where pizza and BBQ seem the more popular fare. John Cleese has one last suggestion: the Grand Hunan Buffet, only 2.3 miles form here. I decide to give it one more shot before reverting to the hotel (whevever the hell that is, probably 30 miles away by now!) I am led into a brightly lit downtown area. People are lining the streets in rhinestones and stetson hats, I can barely move. Cowboys and cowgirls are pouring out of a concert venue. I read on the jumbotron that it’s a Tim McGraw and Faith Hill concert, whoever they are. Then suddenly I see one of those rolling neon tickertape displays, like in Times Square. I recognize this from earlier in the day! I must be back near my hotel! There’s been another mining disaster and Barry Bonds has tied The Babe at 714. And there’s the Grand Hunan Buffet. Lights are on, but there’s no parking outside. I pull into an underground garage, and suddenly realize this is the garage under my own hotel.
The Chinese food was pretty good, so Mr Cleese came though for me after all. ‘You’re arriving at your destination’, he said in a bored voice, ‘but I’m not going to carry your bags. From now on, you’re on your own.’
So glad you are having a good time Thomas!!! You are a wonderful man……. and quite a gifted writer too!!!
May you continue to be safe and well….. Luv ya!!!!!
What type of system allows you to download John Cleese as a voice over?? I don’t even own a GPS system, but I think it would be a huge kick to have him give me directions to places here in the US. Especially a Chinese Restaurant!!!
Safe travels!
Isn’t GPS wonderful? You not only found Chinese food, but found it just around the corner from your hotel!! Sometimes it’s nice to let it take you to new places and adventures.
Have a lovely day.
Awww, you are merely a mile or so down the road from my old college where your head in poster form (sans Apple appendage) used to grace the wall of my room at the campus Russian House. Now, I am homesick for some Green Mill pizza and some Haagen-Dazs at the shop on Grand Avenue (where Prince’s bodyguard used to come in for Cookies’n'Cream for his boss out in the limo back in the mid-80s.) I hope St. Paul gives you a very fine welcome tonight, Thomas!
Hey Thomas! Welcome to my hometown! I saw you on Friday night in Milwaukee (Points East Pub)…got to meet you after the show up in that swanky apartment above the club. Thanks for the show, thanks for being so kind to us…I am looking forward to seeing you again tonight. I am so glad to have the luxury. Hello to Lunesse also! Take care.
I miss being on tour with you guys!
This is by far the funniest blog for me… You had me craking up!!!!
BTW Avengers and The Prisoner A++++
Stevied – that’s what I’ve been saying since I saw my last Sole Inhabitant show in Cleveland. I miss being a groupie, darn it.
Love all that ITC stuff from the 60′s and 70s, too.”The Saint”, “The Persuaders”, etc. even all those Gerry Anderson puppet shows are cool!
Say Did you ever watch “DangerMan” (“Secret Agent” over here) which was ,I believe anyway, the same character as No. 6. That last crazy episode of “The Prisoner” makes more sense and less sense to me everytime I watch it .
How do you find the folks out there in Minn/St. Paul?I was out there for work a few years ago and boy I found them not too friendly at all for the most part. I was glad to glad to get back to NYC the supposed rude capitol of the world.:lol:
Yeah, Space… Danger Man a.k.a Secret Agent Man here in the States. And the obscure “The Champions:Nemesis”…. cats who’s mission crashed in Tibet only to be given super human strength to fight the bad guys…
Great story, and awesome show in ST. Paul!
We are very blessed to have you back on the trail.
The combination of musicality, technology, humor and gracious perfomance are an inspiration.
(video and backline included)
P.S. I was at the 1st Avenue show 22 years ago.
I look forward to the new material.
C
Prisoner–that is one of my favorite series. At one point, they were going to release a movie, but I don’t know what happened to it. Maybe JJ could give it some new legs. And it could have cameos by Patrick McGoohan, John Cleese…and music by Mr. Dolby.
This was a great post–I enjoyed the read. Save these up, so one day you can release a book like Will Wheaton.
P.S. This is the *only* blog I ever read!
Thomas, thanks for a great show last night. I, too was at the First Avenue show, summer ’84. Way back when I was just a young turk. It was an incredible night as I remember it (glad to hear you report that you were having fun too!) Now I have another to remember as well. I am so grateful to you and will see you in the fall if you come back out. Take care!
p.s. Born and raised in Minneapolis/St. Paul, I could give you a memorable tour! (I know where Prince lives!)
Hi Thomas,
Great show last night! I’m looking forward to new material, and your return to Minneapolis/Saint Paul. I am amused by your tale of being directed around the area by John Cleese, and yes, Saint Paul is a sleepy little town. Tough luck ending up at Hunan, though. That’s easily one of the worst Chinese restaurants in these Twin Towns. Better luck next time!
Thomas, brilliant show last night in St. Paul! I had concluded a few years ago that I would never get the opportunity to see your performance live. However, I had not visited your blog/website enough lately and there you go planning a tour. Luckily, I cracked open a newspaper and saw the advert for the show. Old technology still works!
Just wanted to take the opportunity to thank you for a thousand late nights sitting in the glow of the stereo with the headphones on. Your music built my dreams!
As you are traveling through Nebraska. I am sure Mr Cleese will not become nearly as aggravated. It is pretty simple driving to Denver. I wish I could get out for that show but family duties call. As you travel through, if you stop in York around suppertime try Chances R. Its a local resturant with great steaks. Or if you want something different, try Runza. It is a regional chain in Nebraska and Colorado that makes great hamburgers and a German meat roll from which it derives the name. Please tour again and give those of us unlucky ones another chance to see you! I am sure those fortunate enough to see you would not mind either.
I just got a Tom Tom for my birthday the other week and tried it for the first time today. I had mine set on the male-australian voice..I had no idea you could upgrade voices.. MORE JUNK TO SPEND MONEY ON!! ha. They need to have Julie Walters do voiceovers for Tom Tom(helloo frannk…you-missed-yaturhn)… Cheers.
Excellent show last night Mr. Dolby. It was fantastic to be standing in a crowd of so many fans. I am a local club DJ spinning indie, new wave, synth pop and post-punk…and I add one of your tunes almost each week. “Europa” and “Science” always gets them out to the floor!
See you in the Fall. – Choose Minneapolis this time, and I think you’ll have a greater assortment of choices for dinner.
Cheers
Thomas,
Thank you for a fantastic show last night! And thanks for your hospitality after. My twin 15 year olds were thrilled with the CDs. Just a gleam in my eye when I saw you 22 years ago at First Ave. They too are now HyperDolby!
Best of luck on the rest of the tour and see you in the fall!
Dolby -
Thanks for a memorable performance in Saint Paul last night !
I believe that I can be so bold as to say that everyone in the audience was really hanging on to every last word you uttered and waited in anticipation for each song to “build” – a real treat to observe.
I’m guessing most of us were scratching our heads over the choice of venue and yet, by the end of the night, felt that your performance could transcend any space.
Thanks for a fantastic experience.
John Cleese! Very cool!
Actually, I only caught the end of “MI3
Sorry, hit the Enter button way too early.
Anyway, I only caught the end of “MI3″ (after seeing a too-short presentation of a David Gilmour concert; no “Echoes,” unfortunately), and also saw you listed in the credits. Maybe it’s one of those things where you’re on the movie soundtrack CD, but your piece isn’t used in the movie. Happens all the time.
I’m amazed that you found any Asian restaurant open that late at night in the Twin Cities. I’m still looking for a good one — I hate broccoli, and am sick of the phenomenon where, if you order anything with vegetables, you get broccoli, and usually a lot of it. My hatred of broccoli is probably the only thing George Bush Sr. and I agree on.
Paisley Park is in Chanhassen, a Twin Cities suburb far west and south of Minneapolis (and VERY far west and south of St. Paul). You’d have to be very lost if you were driving around St. Paul and you and the voice of Cleese wound up there.
Not surprised that you got lost in St. Paul. I think our former governor, Jesse Ventura, was correct when he said that the street layout was concocted by drunken Irishmen. My ancestors are Irish, and I take no offense at the observation.
Although the Dolbyites (Dolbyans? Dolbyphiles?) will want to crucify me and/or run me off the Web for saying this, I was disappointed by the setlist.
“The Ability to Swing” is one of my top 5 all-time songs by anyone (I NEVER get sick of it, and seriously doubt that I ever will), but you didn’t do it, nor did you do “My Brain is Like a Sieve” or the song about the dirty Datsun (Is it called “I Love You Goodbye”?), which was/is my favorite song from “Astronauts and Heretics.”
The between-song comments were fantastic, the videos were good, too, but when you come back, please add those three songs to the setlist.
Gotta go, the series finale of J.J. Abrams’ “Alias” is on.
Thomas,
Lest this become a Zagat survey, I think I ought to add to the above, that yes, Mpls will provide MORE eating options and, as an aside, likelier musical venues- Station 4 USED to be known as a metal joint!… my first time in their doors, and I used to live one block away- but, Saint Paul has many great restaurants, from Ethiopian (Fasika on Snelling just north of University) to burgers (The Nook, on Hamline at Randolph) and etc. But whatever… just come back! That was a fine show, my friends and I could take more of that any time. Just thought I’d add I’ve been a long-time fan, since that weird Crepuscule compilation tape from like ’81…? I need to dig that up…
Hello all! Hey kingcrab! You and I must run in the same circles…both restaurants you mentioned are among my very favorites. But…enough of the survey! Also, STORMER…it was great to meet you on Sunday night. My wife and I are the two teachers you met at the front door. I still have your card and will contact you via email.
How great it is that this site allows stuffy old dreamers to realize they are not alone in this world! Thanks Thomas for uniting us in one place!
Me and Gian went to see MI3 the day it was first out here in Italy… and we also were waiting for your song. We stayed untill the very last credit and we manged to see your name even if it was running quite fast on the screen but we were so concentrated =) we left the cinema the last!!
I personally loved MI3, probably my favourite of all the MI.. but is hard to say, actually. Is funny to read your blog even if I must confess not to understand everything.
If you plan to visit Boston in the Fall, I offer my services as local Chinese Food consultant.
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